What?

I still can't believe Heath L. is gone. I went and read some reports about it and people's comments. Some people have a lot more compassion and respect for him than some other people. Obviously those were American reports and the people knew him and the Hollywood scene. Most of them talked about the movies he did before Brokeback, I think because Brokeback was so famous, saying their favourite film of his is that would not really convey how much they loved him and appreciated his talent. But it was after watching Brokeback that I noticed him and found him to be a great actor. I love the movie and the only reason I don't say it's one of my favourite movies is because I don't really like the beginning parts on the mountain.. I don't mind it happening, I just don't like to watch it. If you understood what that meant. Anyway, I respect guys who are not homophobic and stand up for them. (Which is why I love Chuck and Larry.) Anyone who says the movie is "disgusting", in the words of my totally-ignorant and narrow-minded guy colleague (who is actually a good guy despite that), is simply a moron.

There are millions of people who deserves to die more than he. I can think of several now. Why are so many people dying? Oh I dreamt of yet another person dying yesterday. How...consistent. But it was some anonymous person I didn't know. The other side must be a better place. It has to be. Life is so over-rated. Maybe people are more enlightened at the other side. So the enlightened ones go over sooner. Such a pity. He was a great actor and would have been greater. It's like he was climbing up the ladder, almost reaching and then *poof* he disappeared. He didn't even fall. He just vanished. Did I mention I still can't believe it? At least Anita M. and Leslie C. had already sort of reached the top and enjoyed the view for a while. They just managed to evade the journey to oblivion. Which other actor can you think of who is young, damn good looking, talented, really nice and cute (character), really can act, acts for the craft, etc etc.. I think the most important thing here is young. Because there are other talented actors out there but few as young as he. (And so cute..) I did watch his past works - A Knight's Tale, Four Feathers, The Patriot.. Was he ever criticised? I don't remember reading any of that. 'Cos I do like his films. And he is so cute. (Was that inappropriate?)


Now, why do people like to think they know me? Do you even know what I like? What I like. It's easy to know what I love or hate because I shout about it. If you don't even know those then you obviously don't care to know. Do you even know what I watch? What I listen to? What I read? So how come you think you know me very well? I don't understand. What I can't stand is people who think they know me better than I know myself. I hate my family therefore I am childish and immature. Like I'm not the one living EVERY MINUTE OF MY FUCKING LIFE. Shouldn't my saying very little sometimes make you think that you don't know what is happening with me? Just because I don't open my mouth to talk doesn't mean I have nothing to say, doesn't mean nothing is going on in my head or my life. Do I need to SHOUT AND SCREAM about every detail of my life? I agree that there are people so clueless others know them better than they know themselves. But I am NOT one of them.

The other day somebody was telling me how lost she was feeling etc etc and then I was going to say she's making me depressed too and then she sent me a link to a clip about this really cute and I guess amusing small car. Right. Why do I even bother? I'm not you and you're not me. Now if everybody remembers that I'M NOT LIKE YOU and you stop thinking that I'm like you or that you know me so well, then this world will be more tolerable. Of course you do know some things about me and I know some things about you. But we should all remember we don't know everything about anything.






This pic reminds me of the Joker - Heath L.'s role in The Dark Knight.
The Yew is associated with immortality, renewal, regeneration, everlasting life, rebirth, transformation and access to the Otherworld and our ancestors. You can read about them here.